Sunday, November 13, 2011

In Memory of Kim Today......

Three years ago today, Kim lost her life to a violent end. We continue to mourn the loss of a beautiful spirit, who left behind four beautiful children that carry her spirit within. As I memorialize her loss today I am saddened yet reflective of the time we shared and her gentle smile and demeanor. I miss her and wish that I could call her, and say, "Hi" and tell her that I'm doing fine. I want to tell her that my annual Domestic Violence Awareness Project was a success and that I raised more money than last year. That my business is doing better and that Andrea, her half sister, is expecting a baby girl! She would have been so happy for Andrea and excited to have been able to share a big sister story with her about her baby experiences. I'm sure Andrea would have appreciated a big sister to call on......
Andrea is having her baby shower today in Ft. Myers Fl. I wish I could be there and I wish Kim could share in that joy as well.
As our lives move forward without her presence we will have joys and heartaches but none compare to the brutal loss, unfair to those who loved her. My heart is not quite so heavy now as the time has passed. I now see her as my guardian "Angel". That when she took her last breath she was transformed to eternal love and that helps me to exist today without her.

"Angel Among Us" 19 x 25
Pastel by Bev Saunders
 I created a portrait of Kim for my 4th Annual Domestic Violence Awareness Project during the month of October. I was very pleased with the exhibition and the results and will share the outcome on my business blog. I wanted to share this portrait with all, as I have not shared it publicly until now. To all who read this today or in the future, please make sure that people around you are safe and speak up if there are any questions. Let's all "Just be Nice" and love one another as God commanded! Kim, I'll love you forever......

Monday, September 26, 2011

Fourth Annual Domestic Violence Awareness Project in memory of Kimberly Ann


Every year now and for as long as I can, I will host and advocate for this dysfunctional social issue, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. This year the theme is "Break the Chains", the chains that bind us in this incredible and emotionally silent crime. The purpose of this project is to bring it to the fore front of the publics mind. The constant reminder every year will hopefully cause people to speak up, break up and lock up the perpetrators of these crimes. The victims need to know, the characteristics of domestic abuse. It is not OK to have violent behavior and verbal abuse in a relationship...the good news is, that there is help and support in their local communities and know that there are others who have risen above and out of relationships that destroy our souls. Please join me in this awarenes project by putting a purple light in your window in the month of October or get involved in your local community by donating your time or a few dollars to Catholic Charities who have shelters and counseling that protect the families and children in these very frightening and chaotic times. Please contact me if you are interested in supporting my efforts.....
Thank you and Peace, Love and Happiness to all, Sincerely Bev

Saturday, February 26, 2011

If you can call it Justice.......the Sentence

On February 23, Edward Preciado - Nuno was sentenced to two consecutive terms of 4 - 8 years in state prison. Which means an 8 -16 year term. In this long ordeal to find justice for Kim, we finally had our day in court to speak on Kim's behalf.  I flew out on Tuesday the 22nd to give my Victim's Impact Statement at the sentencing hearing. Family members were asked to submit impact statements 10 days prior to the sentencing day. Those statements were not read aloud, but were put in the case file where they will remain.
We were told to be there before 9am. We were briefed by Guancarlos Pesci, the prosecuting attorney in this case. EP was escorted to the jury box along with about 12 other thugs, dressed in navy blue jump suits orange socks and shackled and handcuffed. There were many other cases to be heard before they got to our case. The prosecuting attorney reminded the judge of the severity of the killing and asked the judge for 20 years.  The defense attorney again, reminded the judge of EP's background and recommended probation... EEEEEK.... probation. We did not know how the judge would go except that since the judge had remanded him into custody after the verdict, that he probably would not get probation, now. Thank God!
The judge asked him if he had anything to say...he proceeded to apologize to his family, the Heckler's and their family...he repeated that he only tried to help..... Carol was then called up to the stand to give her Impact Statement. She was nervous but to the point. Saying that probation was not an option and to give him the max and expressed complete sorrow for Kim's children. Ron was then called to the stand...he was also to the point about the brutality of the case and that EP could have walked away from this....I can't remember their exact words...then I was called up....I had been preparing for this for a long time and had over 2 pages to read, a photo collage board and my memory album filled with photos, letters and cards that Kim had sent me over the years. I had a lot to share.....for Kim had absolutely no voice to defend herself when they dragged her through the mud during the trial. The judge asked me where I lived and I told him. He then allowed me to read my statement. I was shaking like a leaf....He told me to slow down several times and was very attentive to me. After my statement, the judge told EP how insulting it was to the families for him to plea self defense...that this was a unique case, but the brutality of it could not justify a mere probation that he agreed with the  recommendation of 2 consecutive terms of 4 - 8....Whew!...we had our day, finally, and it was rewarding for us to see him hauled away in chains and to know that he had at least 8 years to ponder his actions in a remote penitentiary in the northern deserts of Nevada. When parole time comes for him, he will have to face us again as we have the right to be there and will be notified when the time comes....for now, we can breathe, we can sleep a little easier and move on with our lives and celebrate Kim's. 
Here is my statement.....and below that is the Link to the latest newspaper article declaring EP's sentence.

                                                     Victim’s Impact Statement Feb. 23 2011
Thank you for this opportunity to speak on Kim’s behalf. This is our story.
My name is Beverly Saunders. I am the biological mother to Kimberly Ann Heckler- Long. On Feb. 13, 1977, I gave birth to a baby girl, knowing that I would never hold her or see her possibly, ever.  I was 17. It was a difficult time, but I was fortunate to have the support from my family and doctors who knew of a good family who could not have children of their own and were seeking adoption. I knew that I was unable to care for her the way a Mom and Dad together could. I agreed and trusted that this was the right thing to do for her at the time. This was a closed adoption.
I moved on with my life and finished school, went to college, got married and had a family of my own. Kim’s half sister, Andrea is almost 28 now. Quite often, especially around Feb. 13, I would wonder where she was, how she was and if I had made the right decision. I could only have hope and faith that things turned out well for her. I always felt that someday she may find me and kept that door open on that possibility.
Well, that fateful day came in April of 1997 when Kim was expecting her second child, Katelyn. She felt it was time to find me and did so courageously with the help of her Mom and family. We immediately melded and were both so grateful to find each other. God had given me the opportunity to be a mother to her...as it turned out it was more like a big sister, but this was my flesh and blood, a beautiful daughter that had sought to find her biological Mom, me.  Not because she lacked a mother, because she definitely had a devoted one in Carol and a loving father in Ron,
but because she could.
She had questions that needed to be answered, being a young mom herself.

We shared photos and became friends very quickly.
She had no regrets; she said she had a happy and normal upbringing. The photos she sent confirmed that.
This curiosity would also lead her to her biological Father, Jeff Ash. Here she found answers that explained her son Kyle’s diabetes as it runs in Jeff’s family.....as well as a whole group of half siblings and a welcoming paternal family.
I was amazed at her personality and how much she looked like her half sister, Andrea, comparing photos of when they were the same age. We were both delighted to see how much alike we were in our demeanor and creative talents. We met in Nov. of 1997. I flew out to Vegas to meet her and spend a few days with her and her family. She was a beautiful and vibrant young woman, more than I could have imagined her to turn out to be. It was a dream come true. She was so warm and kind. She introduced me to her parents, sisters, grandparents, husband Mark and Kyle and Katie. I was so grateful for the opportunity she granted me, a relationship with her and her family. What a blessing!
 This was the beginning of a new life for me and my family.

We talked often, sometimes once a week. We visited each other several times. She grew up in New York, so she felt comfortable coming back east. Throughout our time together we shared our ups and downs and encouraged each other sending letters, cards, gifts and photos to each other and the kids.  I was able to understand her challenges, as her life had mirrored some of mine.
We had become very close and comfortable with each other.

Throughout the 11 short years that we shared, Kim had made some tough decisions, as we all do in life. I, being 3000 miles away, could only do my best to be there for her via the phone or email.
That was tough...I wish I lived closer.
I got to know her as she shared her aspirations of wanting her family, a good home and a good life for her children. She had a Christian faith that gave her hope in achieving the happiness she sought for her children and herself.   She was a kind, gentle, artistic and a loving soul by nature.
Unfortunately, this was not meant to be in the rocky relationship that she had chosen with Jeff Preciado.
Sad...She continually tried to rise above the bouts of alcoholism, abuse and arguments. She would confide in me for encouragement, guidance and prayer.  I would tell her straight about how I felt about drinking and its affects. She did not want to give up on her quest to have her family with Jeff. “She loved him...” She would say. I knew it was tough for her, Jeff and the kids, but I was hopeful that things would work out and they both could enjoy a life without alcohol and abuse in their new home.

On November 12, 2008, she called me and we spoke for almost two hours. She told me of the previous episode of domestic violence and said she finally had resolved to give up and move on. I did not realize how truly bad the relationship had become. She expressed her struggles during this time. I told her she needed to leave as soon as possible and find a safe place for the kids and her...she was crying and I didn’t know what to do except to continue to emphasize that she needed to get out. Having been in Domestic Violence situations myself, I knew this was not good and how volatile things can get. She seemed frightened and somewhat insecure on the phone but she said she had a friend and assured me she would leave as soon as she could. We ended the call and I prayed she had the support she needed to get through this.

The next night I get the news of this abominable act of violence. I was shocked and devastated. The brutal details followed. I couldn’t believe it.....this can’t be happening. I called the coroner’s office for proof and they said “Yes”, and gave me some details. They handled my call so well that I knew she was in God’s hands at that point.  I flew out for her memorial with my daughter Andrea.  No body, no casket, not even the charred remains after cremation.  It was still so surreal and hard to accept.

Kim and I had a future; a life of reconnection and memories to create...that was cut way too short! She connected me to her children, my grandchildren. Her kids are a testament to the love she had for them. Without her I will never have the opportunity to experience the bond between her children and myself that only a mother nourishes.
Without her, Andrea, will never know how a big sister could enrich her life, through the good times and the bad.

Kim’s chance to grow and learn to get through life’s challenges was so brutally taken away that day. We all have problems and issues. God gives us each a new day to work through those problems.
Edward took away her chance at following her journey as God set forth for her.

Granted, I was blessed to have known her and to share our lives for a short while, but it was not enough...her children deserved more....She deserved more and I deserved more! There is an emptiness again in my soul....a space that was left 34 years ago..........filled with beauty and life 14 years ago .......... and completely drained 2 years ago on Nov. 13, 2008

My heart sees the face of an angel.  In time, her beautiful smile, her gentle laugh and the good memories we shared will defeat the evil impressions I have on my soul. I will continue my life without her, but the memory of our time will forever be with me as a mother, a big sister and a friend.

I will never understand how this man, a man so well trained, mature and fatherly could so brutally take the life of a young woman, no matter how angry the situation had become and then soon after, show no remorse, even calling her names and showing his hatred toward her. He deprived her of 50 years/a lifetime with her children, her grandchildren and her family. When he had opportunity to stop the violence he continued to instigate the confrontation that would jeopardize and ultimately change my life and families lives forever. Losing a child is the worst of the worst and for her to

be taken away from me in such a senseless way is hard to get a grip on. I continue to grieve the loss of Kim, sometimes bursting out in my car and at my work. Counseling has helped and prayer has been comforting. I hope to find some sort of closure so that I can be there for Andrea.  I can only pray for Kim’s soul and all those involved in this horrific situation and that justice in some form to prevail.
Thank you for this time.
Sincerely, Bev Saunders



http://www.lvrj.com/news/ex-fbi-agent-gets-prison-time-for-hammer-attack-116973223.html

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Deleted Posts

I felt I should delete former posts due to the amount of negative mean spirited comments it was creating.
 So I will just keep up the news article links, etc. 
It was incredible the amount of vitreal  on the other side. It was starting to get scary.
Soon this will move to another phase and hopefully come to some sort of closure for all.
The sentencing is coming up next week....again I have to muster up some strenghth and courage to face the judge with my victim's impact statement.
This whole horrible ordeal has been all consuming and draining.
My life has been turned upside down for more than two years...All I can say is to continue to pray for justice for Kim......unill the next time...Peace, Bev

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Happy Birthday Kimberly...We miss you!


Kim and her half sister Andrea in 2002

Today Kim would have been 34. Wow! Once again..I get to celebrate her birth. No regrets on the choice I had to make. She was loved and reared so wonderfully by her adoptive parents...
I can't thank them enough.
Her gentle and kind spirit is a testament to their love for her.
What gives me strength now is thinking of her as an angel who once walked with us.
I am so thankful, for I shared many walks with her. In times of trouble in her life as well as in good times. 
She was so proud of her children and loved them so...just as I am so proud of her and loved her so...her memory continues to bring a smile to me as I review our shared memories, letters, greeting cards and photos over the short 11 years that we shared. May she find peace in her higher place....
Here is a poem that I wrote.. with the help of a friend....

...for KIM
Feb. 13 2011 

...When Angels Walk ...

When Angels walk upon this earth,

they cast a light so bright and gay.

...but even angels must go home

and leave us to our worldly day.

We mourn the passing of one so rare,

...the loss we feel is beyond compare.

Her light will shine in the ones she knew

and help and guide us all day through.

Feb.13, 2011

May all find comfort as we continue our fight for justice in her brutal attack and ultimate death. The sentencing will be on Feb 23, 2011.
 I will be there to share my victim's impact statement, which I hope will give her the voice she was robbed of in the trial! 
Please continue to pray for justice as we hope to close this chapter and put this man behind bars for as long as possible. 
Thanks to all, for your support!
Sincerely, Bev






















Thursday, January 20, 2011

Final Phase....The Sentencing...February 23, 2011

I have been away for awhile....I had a lot to digest and to let go for a bit and get back to the business of life and my framing/gallery. Every day I think of what I experienced in Las Vegas during the trial of the murder of Kimberly Ann. Yes, this was a murder trial. One day I will formulate this whole experience and possibly publish it in a book with the intent of making her story an effective deterrent from domestic violence and it's possible fatal outcomes.
I have decided that I need to be there for the sentencing. It is in the Judges hands now. (Judge Donald Mosley) It is time for victim's impact statements. I want to read my victim's impact statement to the face of her killer and the judge who saw me in that court room nearly every moment of the trial. The victim's impact statements are intended to influence the judges decision in the final punishment.
There were many troubling testimonies and discrepancies in this trial. I believe that the verdict was lenient and that the verdict of at least murder two would have been  more appropriate. There is only one way to get some sort of justice now. The terms of this verdict is a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 20 years. If he gets a 20 year sentence, that would be the minimum of a murder two verdict. That would be the best we could get in justice for Kimmie.
I'm sure there will be appeals made by his defense...We can only hope that they will be denied and put off for as long as possible.
My goal now is to raise enough money to get me out there once again for the final phase of this trial....It ain't over yet...and I plan to go the distance and to do whatever it takes to see EP (KIM'S CONVICTED KILLER).... put away for as long as possible.
PLEASE KEEP ME AND KIM AND HER WHOLE FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS AS WE HOPE TO CLOSE THIS CHAPTER OF KIM'S BRUTAL DEATH.